Mon Français est un peu rouillé mais je sais comment parler et écrire en Français… comme ci comme ça.
In English that reads my French is a bit rusty, but I know how to speak and write it. Knowing how to communicate that phrase was important when introducing myself to our foreign exchange student. He’s 16 years old and hails from a small village in southwest France.
Yes, Nate and I decided to host an exchange student for this school year. We are in the process of looking to adopt a child so this should give us some insight into what it’s like to be a parent… Well, except this is a different world I’m told. It’s a teenager. Big difference.
Jérémy will arrive Aug. 25, his first voyage to the United States, and is making his home with us in Bowman.
We’re nervous but so is he, as he explained. He has to leave his home, his family and friends to travel to a foreign country.
Since Nate and I are pretty active in the community, we’re hoping Jérémy is too. We’re also hoping that he’ll be interested in playing sports and joining other school organizations. We already know he has quite an affinity for rugby and playing the guitar. He sounds like a solid student and described himself as mature and responsible.
When I was 18, I spent a little more than a month in Russia, then spent some time in London and Paris before returning home. I know what it’s like to leave home for an unknown place, thrown into a new culture. But he’s making his trip alone; I was with a group of students from my university.
Being overseas changed my life. I came out of my shell — I used to be painfully shy — and, yes, picked up some bad habits, but it widened my eyes to the world. I made new, lasting friendships and did so many things to bring myself out of my comfort zone. I wouldn’t trade that experience for anything. It’s been 10 years and I still cherish every moment.
I hope that’s how Jérémy’s experience will go, except for the bad habits. I wouldn’t want his parents calling and yelling at me in French.
While I’m relatively comfortable around children — I’m pretty good at making them laugh and keeping them entertained — it’s quite different than actually living with one and taking care of one. I want to be fun and give him a good experience over here but at the same time I have to be nurturing and provide structure. I have to be a parent, not a friend, as a friend of mine kindly put it.
Mostly I’m excited of the relationships he’ll build here. We have the nicest people and I’m eager for him to meet many of you. He seems pretty outgoing so I’m sure he’ll quickly make friends.
Still, opening my home to a stranger, a foreign stranger, a 16-year-old foreign stranger, is new to me. I’m a very sociable person but I understand there are some things you can’t do with or ways not to act around youth. It’s going to be a learning experience for all three of us. Nate likes to sometimes say (usually when I’m annoying him) that I’m like a kid, a 28-year-old kid. But why does that have to be such a bad thing? I like to have fun, yes, and I like to act silly and sometimes immature but I’m professional and serious when I need to be, sometimes more so than Nate (thinks he) is.
Thinking about my time as a child makes me feel old. I never felt like that before. It’s a bit unsettling.
It never really sunk in that I would one day be labeled a father. I’m expected to act like a father figure while he stays here but I’m looking forward to it: getting to cheer him on from the sidelines at sporting events, attending parent-teacher conferences, making a proper breakfast and dinner for the family, grounding him if he sneaks out on a school night to go to a girl’s house (I was guilty of that one when I was younger; my dad dragged me home by my ear), and taking him around to see a country he’s never been to before. That all comes with the territory of being a parent as well as dealing with potential heartbreak, frustration at life and other typical teenage problems. The latter I’ll just have to work on when they happen, if they happen.
I’m excited to see how I will handle being a parent, and to see Nate as one, too.
We hope we’ll have a child of our own in the future and, based upon how Jérémy’s experience goes, perhaps our child will also become a foreign exchange student one day.
