Hello, December is a tough month for me. My notes are due at the bank. My calves are just weaned and usually I have to doctor a few that catch a cold after weaning.
The snow is starting to accumulate and I have to dig through the drifts to find stuff I left to pick up tomorrow. I start to count my hay bales and see how many I can feed a day and still make it to May. And, this is the kicker; Shirley’s birthday is next week.
You know by now that I am not much of a shopper. If they had a liquor store at Runnings or Tractor Supply, I could possibly never venture into another store the rest of my life. I’m a simple man.
But I feel that I must do some shopping for my wife on her special day. Which is very near the “Day of Infamy”. Do you think this is a mere coincidence?
I remember thirty years ago or so when I bought her the “Thighmaster” that Suzanne Sommers advertised on TV. That really didn’t go over as well as I had hoped. Never mind the “Buttmaster” that came free with it. It was cold sleeping in the garage. That was a cold December.
But all in all she is pretty easy to shop for. This year she wants a bale feeder for the saddle horses. Now I can handle that. And she would like to buy herself some new winter boots. The bottoms are coming off her old ones and her feet get wet. You know she can get anything she would like, but I said, “If you buy new boots, you have to throw the worn out boots away.” That woman hates to throw anything away. It’s a hereditary thing.
I remember when we cleaned out her mother’s basement. There was a bucket labeled “this bucket leaks, don’t use it”. Really. There was a box of string labeled “strings too short to use”. I’m not lying. So you can see how hard it was to throw away a pair of worn out boots.
I took her to a movie over the weekend. Have you been to a movie lately? I booked the tickets online so I we didn’t have to sit in the front row in front of a giant screen. Senior tickets for the matinee were only five dollars. At the theatre. Online, with the surcharges, they were nine fifty. Nineteen dollars for two tickets. Still, her birthday is coming up.
We decided to split a pop and a popcorn. A medium sized pop is more expensive than the movie tickets! And I had to call my loan officer to see if it was alright to order a medium popcorn (extra butter). It looks to me like if you took a family to the movies; you had better fill them up with mac and cheese before you get to the movie.
And that expensive popcorn, the kernels were so small that I used the straw from the pop to eat the popcorn. But I will tell you this; the reclining seats are a treat. And the movie was good.
I don’t know how I got off on this. I have to go buy a hay feeder for Shirley.
Brought to you by: Dakota Community Bank
Hello, Maybe you noticed that I didn’t get a column in last week. I apologize. It’s not my fault.
Well, in a way it is. You see, I was in Las Vegas. Sin City. The city that never sleeps. Or is that New York? I get mixed up.
Two things you will never find in Las Vegas are clocks and business centers in a motel. I’m not real tech savvy. I know you find that hard to believe, but it is true. I can’t sit down with an ipad or my phone, take a fat finger, tap out a column and send a message out to the newspapers. I have to sit down in a comfortable chair, in front of a computer, within hollering distance of Shirley and write my column. Preferably with a cup of hot coffee and the sound of bacon frying in the background.
Anyway we were in Vegas to watch Gracy, our granddaughter rope calves. She had qualified for Vegas’s Tuffest Roping at a qualifier in Bowman. She didn’t place, but trust me; we think she was the greatest!
I haven’t traveled a lot the past few years. I hate airports. I hate the itty-bitty seats on airplanes. I hate the cost of a cocktail at an airport. I hate standing in line at checkout. I hate the itty-bitty toilets on the airplane. I hate the dry pretzels and the dry cookie that is supposed to pass as a meal. That’s a lot of hate for an easygoing cowboy.
Because I haven’t traveled a lot in recent years, when we were packing we couldn’t find my shaving kit. I just haven’t used it recently. When it was located, I threw it in my bag and I was ready to roll.
We got up at 4 a.m. to catch our flight to Denver. Good connections and we were in good shape. I headed right for a poker table. All day. Way into the night. And into the next morning. At 3 a.m. I reported back to our room. No, I didn’t win. I knew you would ask.
Over the years, I’ve developed the habit of rising between four and five. Which is fine. Unless you went to bed at 3. Then it sucks. But it happens.
So at about 5 o’clock I got up and showered, reached in my long forgotten shaving kit, took out my toothpaste and brushed my teeth. It was horrible. But I figured it was the lack of sleep and the combination of free drinks that were handed out at the poker table.
I just couldn’t get that taste out of my mouth all morning. Later in the day, I was back at the room and going to brush again. The tube was still lying there, smiling gleefully at me. It was a tube of a cortisone cream for a rash I had developed years ago. I tell you what; if you ever have itchy teeth, try that stuff. My teeth haven’t itched since.
One long night in Vegas, and the next three days I was in bed by 8 o’clock. And down for breakfast, showered and shaved, with nice white, non-itching teeth by 5 a.m. And I am still trying to catch up on my sleep a week later.
Brought to you by: Dakota Community Bank